A very old and common saying goes that marriages are made in heaven. With our current generation, it may or may not be true, but it takes a lot of efforts to make it stay grounded. In Hindu culture, during the wedding one of the most important customs is to take vows around the fire. Ever wondered what the famous saat phere (7 vows) meant and why was it done around the fire? Was it done to remind us of the impending dangers that we are about to face in life just by being together :P. Well, like old customs and traditions this one would have definitely had a significant reason behind it. But we are not going to look at translation of the archaic shlokas. I have given my own interpretation of what these vows meanin today’s modern times.
(Note: All thoughts are my own and no offence is meant either intentionally or unintentionally to any religion, caste or culture)
The very popular Virushka ad for the famous wedding clothing brand that released just in time before their wedding already provides us with their cute take of the vows. Inspired from the same, I present my first vow – to remain physically fit and healthy to support each other. In this fast paced mad race called life, healthy living tends to take a back seat very often. At such times, each of the partners’ should ensure to remind the other of this promise. Keep the alarm loud near your lazy spouse and push them to wake up for jogging. Snap at their hand when they reach for the pack of namkeen at the supermarket store. Make a healthy yummy smoothie for your tired spouse coming from office.
This was quite obviously the next one. As much as physical wellbeing gets the focus, unfortunately the poor hardworking brain/mind gets neglected. Mental peace is the most crucial factor that will determine the quality of your relationship. You got to decide if you are going to fall in the category of the stress causing or the stress relieving side of the day. Some quick tips would be to give a soothing massage or a back rub. If you want an easier tip, given them undisturbed time with their favorite TV show or series or match, and you are sorted.
Staying loyal is a given thing mostly in any relationship, whether you are married or not. But this is about being able to give into each others’ wishes and inner desires to satisfy one’s dreams. There should be no fear and go for a ‘no holding back’ approach; just dare and yet be comfortable with what you want. Promise to each other to not get boring even with age. But yeah, as you grow older just be mindful of the sore body that you might have the next day before going too wild.
So are you wondering how this can be different from the mental part? Well I sort of made this up to complete the count of 7, but later realized this is imperative too. This is the part where you have to express honestly the emotions you feel for each other as much as possible and as often as possible. It’s a very crowded place (especially if you live in a place like Mumbai) with a lot of people forming part of our day to day life. But the time spent with our better half matters. Both of you must agree to always take out time for each other (without the exasperating cries of children) to invest in the relationship.
All the lovey dovey words in the relationship are not going to buy you your daily bread. Just like the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the basic stuff have to be met to go to the next levels. You might be a working partner or a stay at home spouse, but the financial responsibility lies equally on both. Splurging and Stinginess should go hand in hand as you take this vow around the fire of money, ’cause when you break this one all hell can break lose.
A marriage is never between two individuals, especially in the Indian context. Two families are coming together not just for the day of the wedding but they will be a part for the entire life. It’s never going to be possible to remember each of them and that is not the expectation here. Just like in the game of chess forget the pawns, but the crucial horses/elephants/bishops’ places on the board have to be remembered. It can help save your King/Queen in the game of life.
The last but not the least is about the ever changing social groups of our lives. No this is not about Facebook or Instagram, but about the real friends who matter. Always respect your spouse’s social circle as they could influence a lot of opinions, sometimes about the relationship itself. Occasionally one might want to include the partner in their circle and sometimes may be not (it’s for your good). Just be ok with it and enjoy separately as well.
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